Golf course ratings - 'rank' is the word

In theory, it should be the nature of this blog that I give a stuff about golf course rankings.

In reality, I don't. There is, to my knowledge, no ranking system for orchestral symphonies, nor is there one for paintings by the great masters and I often wish golf magazines would take the hint.

Have your readers vote for their favourite courses each year if you must but trying to apply numbers and criteria to an essentially subjective exercise always strikes me as a project that achieves nothing other than the annual creation of an almighty talking shop that invariably gets us nowhere.

As proof of how long this tail-chasing has gone on, this article is perfect: a 1926 defence of his methods by American renaissance man and course-rater Joshua Crane (pictured).

The Harvard alumnus' attempts to catch lightning in a bottle, you will notice, had left St Andrews firmly bottom of his ratings system as applied to the great courses of Britain. Not surprisingly, this hadn't gone down terribly well with the natives, hence Crane's endeavours here to defend his rationale.

Fill your boots with it if you must, you'll find more of the same in this thread from the Golf Club Atlas forum, where they wallow in such stuff like Cleopatra in asses' milk but I must confess, what grabs my attention in the article is Crane's resume as set out beneath his photograph:

"Classical degree, Harvard; engineering degree, Massachusetts Institute Technology. Full-back, Harvard and Tech. football teams. Member college track teams, winning over 100 prizes hurdling, broad jumping and pole vaulting. Captain Dedham Polo Club team. Won some fifty cups at polo. Won National Tennis championship 1901-2-3-4. Club champion of both New York and Boston Racquet clubs for many years. Won many yacht races with boats he designed and sails. Says that he is rather mediocre at golf," but last summer his score at Gleneagles was 72; Hoylake, 74; St. Andrews, 75, etc. For five years captain of the Lesley Cup team of Boston"

Whatever you might think of his rating methods (and I know what I think of the grating false modesty of single-figure handicappers who still attempt self-deprecation) you can't fault him when it comes to making the most of life's rich tapestry.

Many references to Crane invariably touch upon his famous use of a miniature putter and I am delighted to say I have uncovered a photograph of the famous implement in action, star of which must surely be the caddie pictured in the background. If you happen to be studying body language, this is what contempt looks like.