Monday, 21 January 2013

Not your father's meet'n'greet - Ernie Els says "arse" to clients


Not sure what the course is but even earthy Ernie remains a hard man to dislike. Nice twist on Victor Kiam's liked-it-so-much-I-bought-the-company line towards the end of the clip, what's more.

Hearing this effortless master at saying all the right things, however, only makes me hanker for what I feel would be the classic video in this genre. Not every project, after all, can involve a tract of land so fabulous, it might have been handed to the architect by angels.


Picture this...


Architect (showing just the occasional sign that he may have been drinking):
"When I first saw the land I'd been hired to work with, ladies and gentlemen, I don't mind telling you I thought it was some kind of joke.

"The only thing missing was an adjacent prison. I have seen landfill that made me want to hit golf balls more. Me and the boys all agreed, finding that unexploded mine while building the pond on 14, actually came as light relief.

"What can I say? Flat, featureless; soil apparently flown in from Uranus - I don't mind telling you that for the first month of my contract, you were basically paying me to weep. But I wept for you, ladies and gentlemen. And I went to work...

"Now? The phoenix has risen from the ashes; the sow's ear is a silken purse, the dog turd has been dipped in glitter. That's how I roll.

"You have a golf course, you have reason to hold your heads high and when y'all have that naming meeting next week, I hope you won't forget the guy who got your self-respect back. I'll leave a few of my cards on the table here.

"And now if you'll excuse me, the boys are holding a table at Hooters..."
He replaces the mike in its stand and exits the marquee, watched by 100 pairs of eyes. The only sound is canvas, flapping in the evening breeze.


It would never be The Big Easy's style but someone out there would be up for it, surely? It could be golf architecture's best shot yet at going viral. 

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